Very hipster things to do while you are reading/ writing other than eating weird things.
If you’ve spent the last five years of your life watching Netflix and staying away from social media, you’ve been missing out on a myriad of hipster fads. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hipsters from time to time. I’m what you would call an incidental hipster. I have a sort of baroque enthusiasm for all things beets and cream cheese. I’m addicted to haircuts and traveling. I’ve been eating strange things that most people wouldn’t put together since I can remember. I put sour cream and jelly on my toast, and I am not ashamed to admit my eating and drinking habits have spilled into the shower. I collect books, presidential T-Shirts, make origami, and I was once a clown at kids birthday party. I am a strange person.
It is perhaps because hispterism operates under the premise of strangeness that it easily seeps into our unconscious. No matter how much we all try to push it away from our public persona, we all have a strange habit or two. It blends strange with normal. It forces us to reconsider normalcy. If we are all a bit weird, are we all a bit hipster? This is a question that I’ve been struggling with. A question that I despise, probably because it forces me to think of myself as a mainstream character.
Now that that’s out of my chest and on the page, I will come back to the meat of this blog: trends. Part of the hipster lifestyle is combining things that don’t usually go together, like unruly animals and meditation (see cat/goat-yoga). MEOWMASTE! As ridiculous as it sounds it’s still interesting, and a great way for people to come together and do something other than stare at a screen. One of these “you really shouldn’t but you will cause YOLO” trends revolves around parents using their babies as exercise props (and I mean babies not toddlers). “Oh, little Jimmy, you are so cute you could be a yoga ball.” Look, I’m not a parent, so I won’t judge: you gotta do what you gotta do for that six pack. Maybe there is some kind of bonding that comes out of this rigid exchange. All I know is when I work out, I am sweaty and gross, and I don’t want to touch or be touched. If working out with your baby sounds like your kind of thing (again, not judging), here is link with a few exercises.
“8 New-Mom Workouts to Do with Baby” https://www.fitpregnancy.com/exercise/postnatal-workouts/8-new-mom-workout-moves-do-baby Ahem, disclosure TIPS: * Baby safety: When performing exercises in which your baby must hold his head up on his own, be sure he can do so without discomfort (usually starting at 3 to 4 months old). * Mom prep: Before performing any exercise, roll your shoulders back and down and draw your navel toward your spine to protect your back. Inhale through your nose and expand your ribs. Exhale through your mouth, drawing your abdominal muscles in.
In lieu of hipster exercise fads, I will share my favorite exercises with you. Since most of my time is spent reading and writing, I’ve outlined a few exercises.
1- Reading Push-Up: Find a flat, stable, and preferably bolted-to-the-ground surface. Put the book on the table and do a few push ups. If the book keeps closing up, use rocks or utensils to keep it open on the page. You can also do this when you are writing. I use this when I’m editing. I put the computer on the window seat and do a few pull ups. I don’t think this exercise really helps with muscle gain, but I do it mostly because my back starts hurting from not doing much with it.
2- Pelvic Floor Exercise: If you’ve ever done pilates or yoga, it’s kind of a bridge but you are engaging your lower abdominal muscles. These muscles are also great for singing, so you are reading, exercising, and working on breath control all at the same time. Finding your pelvic floor demands some awareness, but once you get it it’s super easy to do. Like the woman in the video recommends: “if you are a female it feels like you are sucking a tampon up higher. If you are a male, it feels like you are sucking the boys up. Get it ;)” I do this so I don’t feel like such a scumbag for staying in bed eating and reading all day.
3- Butt Clench/ Reverse Pelvic Floor: If you are lying down, reading on your tummy, you can still work out those muscles, you dummy. Just clench your butt muscles. ALL OF THEM! Clench them together, all at the same time, or even one at a time. Sing a song while you clench them. Just get them moving. Kind of the way you would your pelvic floor, but backwards. Why didn’t you think of that!
Follow these exercises at your own discretion. I am not a fit person, and I’ve seen no results. Probably because I don’t have the discipline to do them every day. I still cannot gage what that progress would look like. I can’t say what you will look like if you do them, but I can tell you that you will not look like J-Lo or George Clooney after doing them. They just help me feel like I’m not such a big butthole for not doing anything. At the end of the day, isn’t that what working out is all about? I’ll let “buddy the cat" answer the question.
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Ashley and Cecilia work hard, play hard, write stuff, read stuff... because they don't know what else to do with their lives.
I- We should buy something superficial
II- Buy odd clothing
I- An Unusual Social Event
I- We should go somewhere with dangerous animals
I- Somewhere with strange food
When we get ten total votes, the item with the highest number of votes will be our next expedition.
(One vote per reader, per category).